Blog – Dominik Jarco

Just another entry in the “collecting evidence for my future self” series. There’s no subheadings in this one so prepare yourself for some stream-of-consciousness.

Since moving to Perth five years ago I’ve seemingly been unable to keep myself away from further tertiary study for very long.

In 2020/2021 I enrolled in a BA and studied two units of philosophy at Macquarie University.

In 2022 I enrolled in a BSc and studied two units of chemistry as well as electives in philosophy and political science at The University of Western Australia.

In 2023 I studied individual units in game design and creative writing at Curtin University.

(In 2024 I finally gave it a rest and instead focused on getting married and buying a house!)

It is now the latter part of 2025, and I have begun a Graduate Certificate in Data Science. The data would suggest that I’ll abandon this after a couple units like I have all the other ones, but there are some key differences between this and my past endeavours.

The early 2020s were a period of deep and sometimes painful soul-searching for me (if you’ve read this blog you know all about that). I was seeking far and wide for passion, for meaning, for healing from past hurts, for a cause to devote myself to, and I was also seeking alternative career options. That’s a lot of pressure to put on any one aspect of life, and of course in hindsight nothing I could ever study would fill such a void.

I have learned some very key things and gotten some substantial answers that have primarily crystallised over the last 1-2 years (details in past blog posts). My Graduate Certificate (and potentially Graduate Diploma and/or Masters if I choose to progress) is not about that. My reasons for studying this are far more practical.

I’ve been doing software engineering for 10 years this year. I probably have at least 20 more to go. I don’t want to be doing the same thing I’m doing now for 20 more years. Data science sits very nicely in an intersection between my current work, and a new area of expertise to dive into. It can either amplify my existing career throughline or open sideways/diagonal transitions for me. It’s a relatively new field that still has plenty of things to discover within, it’s very practical to study alongside work, and it’s fast (only 1.5 years for the Masters). This is a rejuvenating career move, not anything else.

My prior study options were investigative and curious, and each of those areas have had different outcomes.

I do like reading about philosophy, but it’s something that I would like to be interested in more than I am actually interested in it. Reading philosophy forums online keeps that part of me satiated.

Game design and creative writing, well, I gave that a serious go for a solid year both with study and with writing and developing my own game. If my career takes me in the direction of game dev I’ll happily partake, but it’s not going to be the “side hustle” I imagined it as when I was in the throes of it two years ago. I channel this part of me into my TTRPG campaigns now, which require both game design and creative writing skills, come with a built-in appreciative audience (the friends you’re playing with), and can be worked on in a relatively low-effort, iterative/episodic manner. I do still have game ideas and story ideas every now and again, but being more familiar with the sheer amount of work that game dev requires leads me to burn through these creative drives in a different way.

And finally we come to chemistry. I adored chemistry when I was in high school. If there are alternate universes, there is a moment in my life that is undoubtedly a branching point. In late high school I went to a careers information event hosted by the school where you could speak to people from different careers to evaluate your own prospects and interests. I sat down with my chemistry teacher, Dr. Joyce, and told him how much I loved the subject.

He asked me, “Well, have you ever considered it as a career?”

Now, keep in mind, I had decided I was going to become a software engineer in about year 8. For a very large part of my adolescence I was absolutely certain I was going to become a game developer. So, in that moment, I mentally put away the question and told him of my existing plans.

What if I had properly considered the question? What if I hadn’t discarded it and actually thought about what I enjoyed doing, and where that could lead me? I’m convinced there’s an alternate universe where I give that proper consideration, and end up diving deeper into chemistry straight out of school.

This pivotal moment, I will be honest, is something I regret sometimes (not the outcome, because life has turned out pretty great, but the decision making process), but back then I was a heavily religious kid, and was used to fleeing from questions that made me uncomfortable or challenged my existing ideas. Also, I continue to firmly believe that as kids we’re forced to make life-spanning decisions far, far too early.

So I don’t live in that alternate universe. I live in this one. And chemistry keeps coming up. My 2022 studies in it gave me a taster, and I came out of that not wanting to continue, but that’s because I was looking at it from a career perspective. Chemistry is never going to be my career, but diving back into studying this year has made me miss it, and the feeling of understanding that comes with it.

I can just study it because I want to. For instance, I could do some sort of postgrad coursework degree that’s quicker than another undergrad and doesn’t waste my time with unrelated electives, and if I haven’t had enough by then, potentially go into research. The motivation would be to do a piece of research, make a contribution, and then return to my regular scheduled programming (wordplay!). Some people have kids, some start businesses, apparently my thing is studying. It would be something I do for my own fulfilment, without putting career pressure on it, and it would be for a limited period of time.

Of course, it is well known that I get excited about stuff and then fizzle out after a few months, so that’s why I’m writing this down now, so I can refer to it in a year or so when I’m done with data science study and compare my feelings then.

To conclude, I just looked it up and Dr. Joyce retired from teaching in 2016. I hope he’s doing well. Do people dedicate their theses? Maybe I’ll dedicate mine to him.

Well, here I am again: compelled to write, to express, to feel, after seeing a band I’ve listened to for years in the flesh.

I had the strange but incredible opportunity to see Unleash the Archers two days in a row – once in Adelaide and once in Perth. (They added a Perth show late, after I’d already booked everything for the Adelaide one.) They were amazing both times, but what set the second show apart was I managed to get into the very front row. There was no barrier between me and the stage, and the band was literally centimetres away the whole show. At any point I could have reached out and touched them.

When this happens and when the artist leans into it, you become part of the experience. We made eye contact, fist bumped, and looked at each other while we sang the words together. I would never have expected the difference this would make, how it elevated an already fantastic show into something so much more personal. I’m going to be riding this high for days. At least three times while I was recording a video on my phone, the singer Brittney Hayes noticed and sang to the camera. I’m not much of a celebrity person, but being noticed and acknowledged by someone whose talents I admire has me completely giddy.

It’s the most viscerally and strongly I’ve felt in months. A metal show is a unique place where you can absolutely let go: you can scream, flail your arms around, dance or jump, cry, whatever. It doesn’t matter what you look like or what you do because everyone else there is there for the same reason: the love of the music, and they won’t judge you.

This has been a difficult year in many ways. Planning a wedding is equal parts exciting and stressful, not to mention the aggressive saving we’ve been doing for it. My game development successes from last year have unfortunately not carried over, and I’ve had two different game attempts gutter out into indefinite hiatus, which has been incredibly discouraging and draining. I didn’t realise how much I’d settled into a numb, day-by-day malaise, mobbed by a thousand everyday irritations until this trip, though short, completely shocked me out of it all and reminded me that I am a person with dreams and likes and aspirations and that I can feel, not just think. That there exists a world outside of my apartment’s walls – I hadn’t realised how much my outlook had shrunk to the four rooms I live in and the screens I stare into for most of my life.

The trip I’ve just been on was packed with so many great experiences: seeing my best friends all together for the first time in months, seeing the new house that a pair of them have just bought, meeting the child that a different pair of them have just brought into the world, and examining the first results of the new hobby we’re all getting into. I want to continue to be present in their lives, to be a part of their journey and have them be a part of mine.

And of course the shows. For these musicians to journey across the world from Canada, and for this weird tour schedule change to allow our lives to intersect twice in two days is something I’ll forever be grateful for. Seeing an artist you admire live is the crown jewel in the listening journey. A rare experience, but one I will always treasure.

I need to do this more often.

I’ve consistently said that this blog is a lesson and a reminder from me to myself. Reading the past few entries has been humbling, because I’ve come to similar conclusions before, and yet this year I failed to learn from past lessons, and fell into the same struggle I’ve fallen into before, chasing the same immense and misguided goal of becoming a video game developer, when this is not what gives my life meaning.

Here’s what gives my life meaning:

My connections to the people I love,
Travel and seeing new places, particularly natural wonders,
Music – the “ordinary” listening experience to form the foundation, and live shows as the capstone,
Creating and storytelling, on my own but especially with others. Not just the result, but the process, the experience.

This is the accrual of things I’ve written in this blog before. It’s practically scientific. It’s time to learn from this.

In 6-9 months’ time when I get restless again and think that the solution is to upend my life and change my career, I need to reread this list and do the things on it. Go for a trip. Go see a show. Get in a mosh and feel myself into existence again. Go hug my friends.

Memory is so fallible.

In my Antioch youth group days, one particular talk that a member gave was about experiencing, and being present for things like music shows or other (usually) one-off experiences. She criticised the desire to want to record these things instead of just being present and letting yourself be immersed in the experience. It’s one of the only individual talks from my years in the group that has stuck with me all this time, and it’s a very valid point.

However, there is a flipside. Without a record, without a memory aid, even the most intense experience we have will eventually fade in our minds. We can’t stop this entirely, but we can help ourselves a lot by making and keeping a memento. That’s why I record at least a bit of every show I attend. I don’t overdo it, because yes, being present is the point of being there, but in 5 years’ time I can rewatch my video of Brittney Hayes looking me in the eyes as we sing Ghosts In The Mist, and I’ll definitely remember what that felt like better than if I had the memory and nothing else.

It’s also why I keep updating this blog, even if only once or twice a year. Part of it is that I just have the unsuppressable need to put these thoughts to the page. But the lessons that I’ve explicitly listed above only emerge after looking at what I’ve written over a timeframe of years.

It’s time to listen.

Tag: Blog

Synthesis

Memory